Correlated "Doctrine of Christ"

Sometimes it helps to see satire juxtaposed to fully appreciate it. This frames our "awful situation" and folly so squarely and so revealingly. (authored by a friend)

Modern LDS Correlated version of 2 Nephi 31:12-21

2 Nephi 31:12-21

And the voice of the Brethren came unto me, saying: He that is baptized in Christ's name, to him will the Father give the prophet; wherefore follow us, and do the things which ye have heard us do. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, I know that if ye shall follow the prophet, with full purpose of heart, acting no apostasy and no deception before God, but with real intent, repenting of your sins, witnessing unto the bishop that ye are willing to take upon you the name of Mormon by baptism- yea, by following your Lord and Savior down into the water, according to his word, behold, then shall ye receive the conference; yea, then cometh the warm fuzzies; and then can ye speak with the words of the living prophets, and shout praises to the Presiding High Priest of Israel. But behold, my beloved brethren, thus came the voice of the Brethren unto me, saying: After ye have confessed your sins, and witnessed unto the prophet in an oath-like gesture that ye are willing to keep his commandments, by the baptism of water, and have received the conference talks, and can speak with new quotes, even the quotes of the brethren, and after this should deny us, it would have been better for you that ye had not known us. And I heard a voice from the Prophet, saying: Yea, the words of the brethren are true and faithful. He that endureth to the end, the same shall be saved. And now, my beloved saints, I know by this that unless man shall endure to the end, in following the words of the prophet of the living church, he cannot be saved. Wherefore, do the things which I have told you I have seen your prophet and president do; for, for this cause have they been shown unto me, that ye might know the gate by which ye should enter, For the gate by which you should enter is repentance and baptism by water, then cometh a remission of your sins by confession and approval of the bishop. And then are ye in this strait and narrow path, which leads to the eternal life; yea, ye have entered by the gate; ye have done according to the commandments of the prophet and the brethren, which witness of each other, unto the fulfilling of the promise which they have made, that they cannot lead you astray. And now my beloved saints, after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow path, I would ask if all is done? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of the prophet with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to lead. Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in correlated doctrine, having a perfect brightness of confidence, and a love of God and all the brethren. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of the brethren, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the prophet: Ye shall have eternal life. And now, behold, my beloved saints, this is the way; and there is none other way nor name given under heaven whereby man can be saved in the kingdom of God. And now, behold, this is the doctrine of the prophet, and the only and true doctrine of the first presidency, and of the prophet, and of the holy apostles, which is one leadership, without end. Amen

And also, the voice of the Son came unto me, saying: He that is baptized in my name, to him will the Father give the Holy Ghost, like unto me; wherefore, follow me, and do the things which ye have seen me do. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, I know that if ye shall follow the Son, with full purpose of heart, acting no hypocrisy and no deception before God, but with real intent, repenting of your sins, witnessing unto the Father that ye are willing to take upon you the name of Christ, by baptism—yea, by following your Lord and your Savior down into the water, according to his word, behold, then shall ye receive the Holy Ghost; yea, then cometh the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost; and then can ye speak with the tongue of angels, and shout praises unto the Holy One of Israel. But, behold, my beloved brethren, thus came the voice of the Son unto me, saying: After ye have repented of your sins, and witnessed unto the Father that ye are willing to keep my commandments, by the baptism of water, and have received the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost, and can speak with a new tongue, yea, even with the tongue of angels, and after this should deny me, it would have been better for you that ye had not known me. And I heard a voice from the Father, saying: Yea, the words of my Beloved are true and faithful. He that endureth to the end, the same shall be saved. And now, my beloved brethren, I know by this that unless a man shall endure to the end, in following the example of the Son of the living God, he cannot be saved. Wherefore, do the things which I have told you I have seen that your Lord and your Redeemer should do; for, for this cause have they been shown unto me, that ye might know the gate by which ye should enter. For the gate by which ye should enter is repentance and baptism by water; and then cometh a remission of your sins by fire and by the Holy Ghost. And then are ye in this strait and narrow path which leads to eternal life; yea, ye have entered in by the gate; ye have done according to the commandments of the Father and the Son; and ye have received the Holy Ghost, which witnesses of the Father and the Son, unto the fulfilling of the promise which he hath made, that if ye entered in by the way ye should receive. And now, my beloved brethren, after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow path, I would ask if all is done? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save. Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life. And now, behold, my beloved brethren, this is the way; and there is none other way nor name given under heaven whereby man can be saved in the kingdom of God. And now, behold, this is the doctrine of Christ, and the only and true doctrine of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, which is one God, without end. Amen.